peace on earth.

It’s Christmas Eve. I may have forgotten if it had not been for the cops on my porch this morning who so kindly reminded me that, “everyone wants to be with their family today.” Ahhh, yes, that’s what I hear. 

As a wrap up of my day thus far, we’ve had Daytime Emmy Nominee go AWOL four times (as of this writing). I’ve run down the street in my flip flops after her once. I’ve had four cop cars at my house, and a near fist fight between Daytime Emmy Nominee, Sassy Britches and Cohort. I’ve also had the internal battle as to where the best place would be to throw out the pot I confiscated this morning. Turns out the trash can that holds the chicken poop was the winner. Hubby suggests that pot, wrapped in chicken poop is not at all appealing. I’m not so sure that’s true.

In an effort to give Hubby a break and give everyone a bit of distance from the drama, I took those that hadn’t run off, shopping and out to lunch. It was a peaceful three hours, and a nice meal. I think all of us enjoyed the outing and the company. Lady in Red only embarrassed me once inside a store when she saw a rock carved into the shape of a penis. Of course, that’s a find you should absolutely yell across a store to inform your mother of. Not sure what she thought I’d need an amethyst carved into a miniature penis for, but should anyone want one, I can point you in the right direction.

Fingers crossed that the rest of the evening is drama free and there are no more police knocking on my door today. As much as I appreciate the county sheriff, I’d rather be grateful for them from a distance. 

From my shit show to yours, Merry Christmas. Oh, and if you’re curious, there was half a snack size bag of chips that went through the wash today. Doritos, even once washed and dried, are still less messy than Cohorts hair run through the wash. 

UPDATE: 5 AWOL incidents now. Oh, and I’m “so weird.”

Merry. F’ing. Christmas.