everything comes out in the wash.

As we have already established, I do an insane amount of laundry. I do that same amount of laundry on regular days, let alone bed stripping days. It’s a lot. I skipped some days this week as hubby is on vacation, which means we spend a lot of time together, commiserating. Until I’ve reached my limit of togetherness, and mysteriously have to go to work.

Year to date, I’ve made $48.61 cents in the laundry. I hide it in a drawer in the laundry room. However, the kid, “Not Me”, seems to have found my stash recently. So, instead of buying Starbucks for myself, I’m sure I bought “Not Me” approximately $48.00 in vapes of various sorts.  Time for a more creative hiding spot come January 1. 

Besides random wads of cash, and a sprinkling of coins, I mostly find chapstick and candy wrappers. Occasionally, I find random parts of vapes, (which a handful of years ago I likely would have mistaken for some specialty Lego part), pens/pencils, tools (thank you Mr. Gatsby and Hubby), sharpies, and actual whole pieces of candy. Last year Cohort left a fidget toy made of up hundreds of little metal bearings. Those metal bearings were, of course, magnetic, and strewn about the washing machine tub like sprinkles on a cupcake. That was almost as fun to clean up as the entire package of m&m’s I found. Thankfully I ran into that disaster before it escalated in the dryer.

Yesterday’s haul: a half eaten candy cane, 10 cents, an individually wrapped peppermint and… Cohorts hair. I’m not talking about the little tumble weeds of hair that adhere themselves to a random shirt, here and there. I’m talking about actual wads of hair. For the record, I’ll take the wads of cash any day over this furry mess. 

Anyway, I didn’t realize it until after it had made it through the wash. I have a front loader with a rubber boot around the opening. Upon opening the door, it looked like I had gotten a squirrel stuck in the door and basically stripped it of all of its fur around the opening. Pulling all of that out of each crease in the boot and out from the drain holes was a great way to spend the afternoon. Multiple loads later, I’m still finding it. There goes a collective 45 minutes of my life I will never get back. 

Cohort returns from her day of leisure and I ask her if she cut her hair, saved the clippings in her pocket and then forgot. Honestly, that was a very plausible thought given the things Cohort does without really thinking, compounded by her absentmindedness. Cohort, was however, shocked that I’d suggest such a thing. Why? Because why would she do that when she could just save it and wrap it all up in a towel? Ahhh, yes, that makes much more sense.