14 days

As per usual, it is never a dull moment in this house. We have had issues at school, which led to in school suspensions, (which might have been the only form of discipline that actually made a point with this particular kiddo). We have had lots of AWOL and I think I have filed about 7 police reports in the last two weeks. No. I am not kidding about that. If anyone ever pulled a FOIA request for police reports generated from my address, they are going to need one of those really, really big old school, expanding three ring binders. I think everyone at the local Sheriff office knows me now, has seen me in tears, and given me their best, “I am so sorry you are going through this” speech. I have also apologized to all of them for being forced to waste their time and county resources. Anyway, what else? Oh, we have had a hospital stay, which came after I was spit on by an enraged teenager. That was a great time. Last week I was blessed with being screamed at by another teenage girl, directly in my face, and then shoved into a dresser. If you try to talk to me and I only respond with, “what?”, it is because my ears are still ringing. Thank you, Sassy Britches for that one. Also had someone back into my car in a parking lot, so there’s that. Thankfully, I’m insured and bestie left me with her car while mine is getting repaired. Could have been a lot worse.

I can handle angry people ALL. DAY. LONG. Seriously, I can operate with very little response to it. I look forward to a good conflict. That is one of my strong character traits. I swoop in for bestie in all business relations with anyone that is someone unpleasant for whatever reason. Bestie has a tender heart. Me, well, I am not the sensitive type, so toss at me whatever you have. I’ve been through a lot of things, and I can tell you with much certainty, there is no level of verbal sewage anyone can send my way that I haven’t already heard, or dealt with at some point or another. So when you turn to me and tell me I’m a “*whatever nasty four letter word is your favorite*” I let it roll off, I even say thank you, just because 1: it doesn’t bother me and 2: the thank you absolutely IS going to bother you. When you tell me you are running off, I respond with 1: make sure you take a coat and 2: a very calm, good bye. Both response 1 and 2 are absolutely going to bother you and none of that is going to bother me at all. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It is the way I am wired. So far, it has served me well, while other people are just flabbergasted.

There is a big difference between angry-mean and cruel-mean. I don’t look forward to cruel-mean and my tolerance for it is significantly lower then it is for angry-mean. So two weeks ago when Daytime Emmy Nominee told me how awful I am, and how the last 3 years of her life were all a lie, that she never cared about us, and didn’t want to be adopted, that stung. I did not react. I just said “ok” and kept listening. OG Drama stood there with her jaw dropped to the floor as she listened to the words that just kept pouring out of Daytime Emmy Nominee. She is still talking about how she can’t believe the things that were said. Which, if you knew some of the spats OG Drama and I have had, well, we’ve said some stuff, big stuff, and OG Drama was still shocked at the content of this “conversation.”. Fast forward two weeks, and we have returned to the I don’t want to be here, I don’t care about you, I’ve never cared about you, and I don’t want to be adopted version of Daytime Emmy Nominee.

I’ve cried more tears than I care to admit now. I have poured into this child for YEARS and nothing seems to have worked. We are inches away from the line that is High School Graduation, and as hard as it is, I have to cut my losses and let Daytime Emmy go off to find a place where there are no rules, and she does not need to be accountable for her own decisions. This is what she thinks she wants, and like all teenagers, she knows all there is and she has life figured out. I hope for her sake thats true. I also hope she thinks to call me when reality hits and she finds things not going so well down the road.

The state recently updated the rules for foster parents. We still have to put in a written request for a move, but now, instead of 30 days, it is only 14 days. So, 14 days from now, (if not sooner), Daytime Emmy Nominee will be moving from our house. The gravity of the amount of time and care I’ve invested in her just to end up here, is a weight so heavy, I can’t describe.