fearless leader.

To know Mr. Gatsby is, well, an adventure. I was still working as a system administrator when I was pregnant with him. The building had a Freon leak at one point and they sent me home until it was resolved. When I came back, I signed a hold harmless agreement. I think about that agreement a lot. If it’s not the Freon, I blame Hubby for dropping him as an infant. 

Mr. Gatsby is most recently hyper fixated on government, and what the government “has taken from him.”  He is also a bit paranoid if you ask me, but he gets that from his father. Everything is a conspiracy, and the Amazon devices in the house, along with his phone, are really government spies. Whatever. As long as Alexa keeps turning my lights on and off for me, she can listen in to whatever and report back. I already live with cameras all over my house. I’m just not all that exciting. 

As I’m on the road to Florida, Mr. Gatsby was put in charge. Last I heard, I think he has selected Uma has his “VP.” Daytime Emmy Nominee reached out tonight, as Hubby and I cruise through South Carolina, to inform me that Mr. Gatsby had required a household meeting. Why? Mr. Gatsby said it was to establish “his government”… obviously. I asked him why he felt this was needed and he assured me it was an effort to prevent the house from falling apart in my absence. Daytime Emmy Nominee doesn’t really appreciate what’s going on. She just thinks Mr. Gatsby has given them all strange nicknames, and then sent me a video of the dog telling me how much he misses me.

He is now working on his pre-presidential memoirs and preparing for his run for president once he  turns 35. This particular chapter is titled, “running the country in 1/8!scale.” After reading it, I can say with certainty that if Mr. Gatsby becomes president, I’m moving to Canada. 

I have not even been gone 24 hours.