Who pee’d in his Cheerios?
In todays edition of crap I can’t make up. 4:30am. Hubby locks himself out of the closet. 6:30am. I drive to Port Huron High School. 9:30am. I drive to L’Anse Creuse High School. 10:00am. Client at work. I survive all…
Four strikes, you’re out!
Ever hop in the shower only to realize you forgot to grab a towel? It happens. Ever get yourself locked out of your own linen closet while frantically trying to rectify that problem? No? Just my house? Thought so. With…
You have a phone call.
In child welfare there is such a thing as the “Safety Plan.” It really is just a piece of paper that the youth in care signs, along with the caregiver. It says, yeah we all know what I did, I’m…
Revenge is best served in a sauna.
I came home from work today to find people dressed in tshirts and shorts while sitting in the living room. Then I realized, holy cow, it’s a sweat box in here! I head to the nearest thermostat to check. It…
Alexa, let there be frost!!!
Came home last week to complaints from two of the teenage household occupants that they were “freezing.” I always tell them to dress for the weather, again, clothes, such a battle. Meanwhile it’s snowing and I ask them to wear…
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
I start my day with a load of laundry. Every day. Home or vacation. No fail, every day. There are currently 9 people in this house. It is a lot of laundry. You know what helps the process along? Pressing…
Is that chicken nuggets I smell?
There are a million things that my father did in the name of parenting that well, normal people would likely NOT do. For example, when I was a kid I had a hamster and called him Thumper. I returned one…
My Sweet Sassy Britches
“Fancy” dinner out. We do this once a year for a special occasion. Every year. It always requires a conversation. I’m not sure why wardrobe is such a problem here, especially with a years worth of advance warning. I’m nearly about…
I’ll take a knuckle sandwich on baguette, please.
Picture it. Sicily 1922. (I’m kidding and most of you likely don’t have any idea where that came from and why I’m laughing right now.) As I’m standing in the living room, holding a vacuum to suck up sawdust, (yes,…
The Tale of Five Salad Forks
I have dishes and flatware service for a literal army of people. I am down to 5 salad forks. At least 90% of the people in my house don’t know, or even care, what a salad fork is. (Incorrect utensil…
