Who pee’d in his Cheerios?
In todays edition of crap I can’t make up. 4:30am. Hubby locks himself out of the closet. 6:30am. I drive to Port Huron High School. 9:30am. I drive to L’Anse Creuse High School. 10:00am. Client at work. I survive all…
Take a picture. It lasts longer.
Yes, I realize there are a lot of us, and yes, I also use my fingers to keep track. No, this is not a school field trip and seeing you with your eyeballs bugging out of your head makes you…
My dog is Houdini
No one barfed on anyone last night, I didn’t run across any vapes hidden in the house in the last 24 hours, and it’s finally Friday! I’ll call that a win. (The bar is low here.) We had an emergency…
Squish
Started my day at 1am with that unmistakable sound of imminent dog barf. Dog barf that I was too late to intercept until hurl round two. I’m fumbling around in the dark trying to capture a now panicked miniature weiner…
Four strikes, you’re out!
Ever hop in the shower only to realize you forgot to grab a towel? It happens. Ever get yourself locked out of your own linen closet while frantically trying to rectify that problem? No? Just my house? Thought so. With…
You have a phone call.
In child welfare there is such a thing as the “Safety Plan.” It really is just a piece of paper that the youth in care signs, along with the caregiver. It says, yeah we all know what I did, I’m…
Revenge is best served in a sauna.
I came home from work today to find people dressed in tshirts and shorts while sitting in the living room. Then I realized, holy cow, it’s a sweat box in here! I head to the nearest thermostat to check. It…
Alexa, let there be frost!!!
Came home last week to complaints from two of the teenage household occupants that they were “freezing.” I always tell them to dress for the weather, again, clothes, such a battle. Meanwhile it’s snowing and I ask them to wear…
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
I start my day with a load of laundry. Every day. Home or vacation. No fail, every day. There are currently 9 people in this house. It is a lot of laundry. You know what helps the process along? Pressing…
Is that chicken nuggets I smell?
There are a million things that my father did in the name of parenting that well, normal people would likely NOT do. For example, when I was a kid I had a hamster and called him Thumper. I returned one…
