trauma travelers.

After 20 hours driving to Florida, in a rental truck that smells like pot, that we ended up sleeping in because turns out no one booked us a hotel room, I thought I was tired. That was last week on Wednesday. It is now Monday, (maybe?), and all I want right now are my pj pants and my bed. 

Daytime Emmy Nominee does not have even the smallest idea what it takes to run this trip. I’d guess she isn’t alone in that. I’ve been run ragged over the last few days. Starting things off with an over night drive and no sleep didn’t help. I’m hoping one day, after she reaches adulthood and a higher level of maturity, she starts to appreciate that planet Earth is not only occupied by her.

I’ve been berated each day for one reason or another by Daytime Emmy Nominee. I’m not her chaperone on this trip.  I am trying to at least give myself a break from the kiddos I live with. It is an attempt to recharge and hopefully limit any meltdowns. (Disinhibited reactive attachment disorder is a jerk and it will break you if you’re not careful.) The berating is only adding to the desire to give myself some kiddo respite. How we can go from chewing me out over me not giving you enough money to chewing me out for not paying enough attention to you is beyond me.

This morning she forgot her coat. It was raining and in the 50’s. She stood there in the hotel, proclaiming that she was not going. Omg. Get on the damn bus, girl.  Seriously. I feel like I spend roughly 80% of my conversations with her asking her to put on more clothes. When I ran into her at breakfast I reminded her that it was not warm and she may like to revisit her wardrobe choice. I’m always wrong, so I can see why she didn’t take that advice. *eyeroll*  Anyway, I managed to get her on the bus and ran back to her room to grab her coat. If I didn’t make it back for the bus, I told her I’d figure out how to meet her at the park. So many other kids forgot things that the bus was delayed and I made it back in time with the coat. Just saved myself a million dollars on a souvenir shop sweatshirt. Score. 

We get to Universal Studios and make our way through security. Up wanders Lady in Red. Why? Because she didn’t bring her coat. Yes, really. She has also managed to spend her entire paycheck, that she got on Friday, prior to today. Yes, it’s Monday. After yet another conversation about budgeting, we arrived at a store with sweatshirts and picked up the first hoodie we saw. The hoodie read, “Just another sexy bald guy”. If I have to buy your souvenirs, it’s going to be something that entertains me at the same time. Ha ha. I made it pretty clear before we left that I was not going to be a source of “fun money”. They all have meal cards to use and for fun stuff, their own money to spend. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. Maybe this will help motivate her to manage her money better. Unlikely, but one can hope. 

As I paid for the shirt, I thought to myself, how long before this blows up in my face. Turns out it takes exactly 42 minutes for that to happen. I get a text from a very pissed off Daytime Emmy Nominee accusing me of “refusing to buy her food, but buying Lady in Red a hoodie.” Uhhhh, nice try sweet cheeks. (She has since edited the text to remove refused.) I not only gave you the cash I had on me two days ago, I also bought you dinner, and I was prepared to buy you a hoodie, too. Ya know, because an hour ago you forgot your coat and you were cold. The berating continues and I had to just stop participating when she decided to tell me she just “wasn’t going to come home lmao.” The rest of the day she has gone back and forth with Hubby, who of course is never the target of her wrath. I’m just  that lucky.  

Prepping for the drive back, which I think I might actually be looking forward to. I’m sad to be leaving the two rooms of girls that I’ve chaperoned behind. However, I miss puppy dog snuggles. I also need to get home before all the estrogen in my house unites and attempts a revolution against Mr. Gatsby’s government. 

Peace out, Florida!