thanksgiving.

We’ve made it to Thanksgiving. I’m not cooking, I haven’t cooked for Thanksgiving in several years. Instead, I place an order at BJ’s Catering and let them handle the job! So later this afternoon hubby and I will be heating everything up for the locusts. 

Last night we all went out to the SkyBridge to see the holiday lights. I can tell you from experience that the bridge is a ton easier to cross in the dark! You have zero idea how high up you are, and Daytime Emmy Nominee very happily skipped across without any hesitation at all. It was a nice outing, and only Lady in Red found something to be upset about. Don’t ask me what the something was. I’m not even confident she knows what she’s po’d about half the time. I’ve stopped trying to understand it, and just remind myself that this is who she is and she’s “gonna need a hot minute.” Not everyone else is as understanding, including Daytime Emmy Nominee, who took a significant amount of offense at Lady in Red and her refusal to speak, paired with her hunger strike. (Again, what’s with the self punishment!!?!?)

We came back to the house and Century21, the Princess and her significant other, Burnt Bread, took on baking. The crew made some hideous looking cookies, and tossed licked marshmallows at each other in the process. As I’m watching marshmallows buzzing across my field of vision, all I can think about is how much college tuition costs. I guess they all need professional careers to afford the marshmallows? I wanted to yell out, “Don’t throw your marshmallows in the house,” but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The cookies were burnt, which was ironic considering Miss Burnt Bread is full of criticism regarding my bread making and its level of “browning.”

I broke down and straightened the bed today. It’s not my usual work, but it’s acceptable and I don’t feel like such a slob now. At home hubby is constantly telling me to sit down (I can’t) and here he’s asking when I’m getting up. Ha. Jokes on you, dude. I’m not getting up unless I really, really have to. I am alternating between jeans, sweatpants and pajama pants this week and testing out each chair in the livingroom for comfort. I’m also mostly eating cookie dough from the tub with a lone fork. Don’t judge me. The other 51 weeks of the year I run around like a crazy person on fire. I earned that cookie dough. 

My other primary activity here has become scrolling through Temu. If you haven’t been, you’re missing out on a carefully curated offering of novelty gifts, all of which ship from overseas. Where else can you find a toothpaste cap made to look like the rear of a weiner dog that enables you to dispense toothpaste as if the dog was making a poop deposit on the brush? Also, how else would I have known how badly I needed one had it not been for Temu? Exactly. I told everyone that all Christmas gifts were coming from Temu this year. I’m looking forward to that more than I should be. 

Meanwhile, Daytime Emmy Nominee has been swinging between various moods all day. A day in the life with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is really the best way to describe it. She went from asking hubby this morning if 5 should be located between 4 and 6 on the measuring device, and laughing hysterically at herself, to slamming doors and yelling at me, partly to my face, partly while stomping off and at last, wrapping it up behind a slammed door. Right about yelling in the hallway is typically the moment I remember to reach for the ear plugs. If you desire to be like me when you grow up, or just missing hearing your own thoughts, get yourself some earplugs. The loop experience ones seem to work the best when trying to take the edge off. Pair those with a popsicle stick to bite on, and you have all you need to live at my house. Unless you are a drinker, in which case I’m told the earplugs and the stick aren’t necessary. Whatever works I guess.