Is this an emergency?

Let me preface all this with a thank you for all the calls, texts and Facebook messages of concern for my sarcastic absence. Today is the first day since last Friday that I’ve had everyone actually at school and no one vomiting in my house. Ten people live here. One of those ten takes a considerable amount of effort to try to avoid anyone knowing she is throwing up, so she hides in her room with a bucket and a trash bag. Which I guess is fine for her, but not so wonderful for her roomie, or limiting the spread of the “yack germ”. Ideally I prefer that kinda thing limited to the bathroom so I can just bleach the heck out of it each day and run my trusty o-zone lamp. I’ve tried to explain to her that we ALL can her her throwing up, so why not just use the bathroom? No dice. So once she started, two more followed fairly quickly. I head out of town tomorrow, so I’ve spent a week basically bathing in bleach and trying to avoid getting sick. Pair that with switching over to a new client management system at work, and well, I’m a teensy bit stressed. A plane to Marquette tomorrow sounds a-ok. I can’t imagine that flight is going to be super packed, so I’m hoping for an hour or so of working wifi and catching up on my tasks. Anyway, so that is where I have been… the depths of stomach bug hell.

There is likely no one else on the planet that enjoys their personal space more than me. Not only am I the anti-hugger, I really just absolutely adore time by myself. If you could give me one gift, you’d ground me to my room or send me to my office. I know that isn’t realistic. I don’t know why that is, it just always has been. I don’t have any siblings and never wanted any. I’m not sorry about that. I had someone tell me once how “wrong” I was for not wanting to share my life with a sibling, because, he was under the impression that I didn’t know what I was missing. Dude, maybe it’s YOU that doesn’t know what you are missing?

Considering how much I enjoy being by myself, most people are surprised at the number of kids in my life and in my house. People ask me at least once a week how exactly I found myself in this spot. I don’t know. What I do know, is that when I am at work, I really just want to be at work. If you have business that brings you in, great. If not, I really am working, so short of making a date to meet for lunch, I am probably not the pop in for an unsolicited visit type. Some people think I am rude, I like to acknowledge that it may seem rude, in truth, I am often just easily over stimulated.

Which leads me to non-emergent calls at work, for kids, to tell me all about how so and so ate the last pop tart… Just don’t. If you had told me all those years ago, while I was sitting in a server room, playing the role of sys admin, solving the worlds problems, (yes, that was me), that my life would come down to calls at work to tell me that so-and-so drank all the milk, I would have thought you were nuts. Fast forward to life as I know it today, its me who is nuts. As a general rule, if you are not bleeding profusely, on fire, or at some other life or death impasse, don’t pick up the phone to call your mother while she is at work. If I left for work, I have things to do, and it’s also likely I need a break from being someones everything for all of an hour. When I say need, I really do mean need. I think if more moms were honest with themselves and those around them, they would stand right behind me, nodding their heads in agreement.

So a few days ago, when the phone rings to discuss the latest drama that is going on, while I have escaped to work, I am hopeful that this is actually either really exciting news or a legit emergency that requires my input. After the first 40 seconds or so, I realize this is indeed, not an actual emergency. It is also not very exciting, and honestly disappointing. Instead its a so-and-so did this to me, so I did that and then they did this. Can you believe that? What are you going to do about it? Considering I am currently in the position to do absolutely nothing about it, I’m not sure why I’m the default dial a friend in these matters. The only thing I cherish more than solitude is my significant lack of girly-ness and non-existent appreciation for dramatics. So, if you call me looking for girly drama backup, or asking me if it is ok to wear white after Labor Day, you’ve dialed the wrong number.