Where did I leave my glasses?

When you want something from the closet and it is locked, you have to ask for help. Problem occurs when you aren’t really speaking to the person you have to ask to help, but you really want what happens to be in the closet. This is one of the many unfortunate predicaments that Cohort has found herself in lately. Enter suspenseful music. What to do? What to do?

I was working at my desk, which took me awhile to even start because I had to locate a pair of glasses. My glasses are everywhere but where I need them to be, when I need them to be there. Much like forks. Anyway, Cohort wanders in behind me, silently. I can feel her standing there and I’m thinking to myself, finally, this must be it! We are going to hash this whole thing out and move on.

Cohort: “Are you busy?”

Me: “Not necessarily. What’s up?”

Cohort: “Can you open the closet and get me some shampoo?”

Sooooo, seems my initial assessment of this moment was incorrect.

Me: “Ummm, is there something else you might want to say to me?”

Cohort: “No.”

Me: “How long is this going to go on?”

Cohort: “I don’t know.” Then she walked away.

Great. I’m relieved that we’ve finally cleared that up. Nice talk.

Cohort is a master at avoiding meaningful conversation and anything that may come anywhere close to involving addressing feelings. As such, it is likely that this is going to be an indefinite stumbling block. This conversation was of course followed by an angry fit from Daytime Emmy Nominee because she has been exposed to the consequences of being suspended. Holding her accountable means I must “hate her or something.” Slamming the door, which isn’t allowed to even be closed, (hello safety plan), really gets the point across that she is angry. Just in case the steaming at me left any doubt. Take your kid to work day is going on soon. I wonder if Hubby can get so lucky to have this kind of excitement happen in front of his co-workers. Maybe this crap is just reserved for me.

In other news, because nothing is sacred here, some monster ate my valentines day candy gift from OG Drama. (I don’t know why I am specifying who the gift was from because it’s the only one I got. I gave out 8. The irony in that fact alone is immeasurable.) If you don’t consume food here at the moment it is put in front of you, odds are you aren’t getting it. I’ve said this before, but I live with a very determined swarm of locusts. For example, I brought in a box of donuts last night to have around for breakfast. They were gone before bed. I never saw them after I bought them, I only came across the empty box. Next year, instead of the Valentine treats I put together for each of them, I’ll be giving them a bag of empty candy wrappers.

Midwinter break continues and I find myself longing for Thursday. That said, the weatherman, who I hope is wrong, is saying winter is going to be in full force starting tomorrow. Because I have done something to upset the universe while I’ve been spending all my time filling the buckets of others, it will be a snow day/ice day. Then I’ll be locked in with the hungry swarm of locusts through the weekend.

Can I be grounded to my room now? I need some quality time with Amazon to get myself some more reading glasses.