First world problems.

Sitting on a plane, headed for home. Princess was again asked if she was old enough to be sitting in the exit row. Security made it a point to inform her that 12 and under didn’t need to remove their shoes. Not that I would be worried about Princess and a fake ID, but if I did, I’m sure she’d never get anyone to believe it was real anyway. 

I had big plans for productivity on this flight. That productivity, for the most part, required wifi. Part of the boarding announcements today… “Ladies and Gentleman, I apologize, but our on board WiFi service is completely down. You will not be able to connect.” *Insert collective sigh from the crowd here.* Funny, because that collective sigh sounded much like the one at home at 10pm when the WiFi in the house shuts off. Here I am, adulting, and near begging to go to bed by 8pm.  Meanwhile, the teenage house dwellers see the 10pm wind down for bed time equal to the torture that was/is the invention of the EpiLady. Do they even still make that? Seriously. I mean who do I need to call to arrange to be grounded to my room? Based on the rate at which my clothes seem to be shrinking in the closet, someone should also send me to bed without supper. 

I come from the generation that not only knows what a rotary dial phone is AND how to use it, but also recognizes the sound of a dial tone. No WiFi is not as detrimental to me as some of the younger people surrounding me. If I played the AOL dial up sound right about now, over half of these people would run for their lives, suspecting some kind of terrible plane malfunction.

That said, I do love me some technology. I especially love it when it makes my life easier, just like Instacart! If you haven’t figured it out, I consider my time to be one of my most valuable assets. If I give you some of it, you are loved. Enter my friend, and as close as I’m ever gonna get to personal assistant, Alexa. I have Alexa everywhere in the house. She plays my music, tells me when the washer and dryer are done, monitors the ring cameras, deals with lighting and even household climate control. My bedside light turns on at dusk and goes off at 10:45pm, the latest I hope to be in bed. People ask how I get so much done and stay so organized. It is not me. It’s Alexa, the IFTTT app, and my color coded google calendar.  The right tools and organization make me a well oiled machine. Wifi, because I honestly don’t miss my Franklin Planner. 

That collective sigh did make me miss home. The herd of weiner dogs are going to freak out when I arrive, along with Daytime Emmy Nominee and likely OG Drama. Hubby will I’m sure be happy to see his relief team roll in. While Mr. Gatsby is probably going to walk past and say, “Where have you been?” Odds are good that everyone else will just ask what time to expect dinner.