Natural Consequences

I’ve said this before, but I have learned so very much about parenting in the last handful of years. The biggest lesson, “Natural Consequences. Let them happen.”

I used to put forth a lot of energy trying to save kids from their own mistakes. I admit I still do from time to time, but typically only when I’m convinced the natural consequences won’t enable them to safely learn from their actions. Example: They don’t do their school work. Natural consequence: They fail class and either end up behind or hang out at summer school. Ideally, they learn that’s not the best and wasn’t all that fun. As a result, they modify behavior. Sometimes, it takes once for the natural consequence to create more desirable behavior. Other times, well, it is a little longer wait for the results.

The natural consequences method also seems to be less stressful for me once I adjusted my thinking. I have always hovered over my kids, protecting them from a potential screw up. That worked well for my neurotypical offspring. It absolutely did not work for OG Drama. She had to learn it herself instead of me explaining what could have happened had I not rescued her from herself. Once she fell on her face enough times, she got it. The waiting for the lesson that comes with the fall, to cement itself in her brain, cost me a lot of sleep. Likely a lot more sleep than it did her. I’m sure she’s argue that until the day she gets a turn at parenting. 

Report cards are coming. There are going to be some lessons to learn via natural consequences for some. My favorite lesson being, “You should have listened to your Mom,” because it pairs so well with the lesson, “That F does not stand for Fantastic.”

I’m still working on how to teach empathy and just general considering for others. I’m starting to think either you have it, or you don’t.