Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

I start my day with a load of laundry. Every day. Home or vacation. No fail, every day. There are currently 9 people in this house. It is a lot of laundry. You know what helps the process along? Pressing start on the washer. I can’t possibly be the only one with this problem. At least I hope not. Nothing worse than heading down to the washer after about 2 hours to realize I have made zero forward progress because it was never started. Again, I hope these are things that happen in the homes of everyone else around me.

What I am sure likely doesn’t happen at all the other homes around me is a water blockage via Pop Tart wrapper. Ever have your entire laundry process come to a dead stop thanks to single Pop Tart wrapper? I have, and it’s happened to me not once, not even twice, but a literal handful of times. That kid “Not Me” really loves Pop Tarts.

If you have a front loading Samsung wifi washer, you get a nice little error code and lots of beeping from the washer to signal distress. Which of course happens after I finally realize I had forgotten to start it in the first place. Lucky for me, I am now experienced at Pop Tart blockages and how to rectify the issue. Unlucky for me, whomever was responsible for engineering this filter at Samsung is a doofus. Each time this happens, you have to open this little trap door, which in itself isn’t all that easy to do. I’ve since just broken the darn thing to save myself some deposits to the swear jar. Then you have to unscrew the filter barrel. *I am not an appliance service technician, so these are all made up terms. You should not follow my directions here. Rather, please employ a professional.* What no one tells you is that the moment you unscrew this thing, water will come gushing out at you. Firehose like water gush, that leaves you wishing you had started this repair armed with an umbrella. Surprise.

My washer and dryer are on pedestals/drawers. So all this water rushing out then fills the drawer and covers the always not waterproof contents. You haven’t lived until you scoop out of bunch of wet lint, dog hair, shredded pop tart wrappers, and the occasional loose change that falls from the filter barrel into a drawer of dryer sheets and Gain scent beads. Good times being had over here, I’m telling you.

So here I am having finally started the washer, standing in the kitchen, contemplating when I’m actually going to start that diet I keep promising myself. All while enjoying the bowl of chocolate pudding I made myself for lunch. When I hear the dreaded symphony of Samsung Beeping. Ugh. Not willing to end up cleaning up what seems like a lake in the laundry room, I use the trash can now held under it to catch what water I can and at least limit the mess a bit. You also have to empty the drawer because you can’t ever really get the can in there far enough to get it all. This method requires the little filter trap door to be removed. (Good news! I already broke that clear off.) As I watch most of the water flow into the trash can, I just chant over and over in my head to have the laundry gods to please stop the waterfall before my can runneth over. Sometimes I get lucky and sometimes, not so much. I told you, it’s a lot of water.

I often wonder if my darling hubby has as much fun at work as I do. Probably not.